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Old 03-05-2008, 06:52 PM
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Default BEST freeware


A call comes through on the customer service line.

Customer Service Rep:
Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install love. Can you guide me through the process?

CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?

CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH- ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Heart's in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?

CS Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

CS Rep: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

CS Rep: Excellent. You're getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back, you will need to empty your recycle bin.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?

C Rep: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go.

Customer: Yes?

CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?

CS Rep: You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great Physician. Most people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency.

Give a little love away ... keep in touch.




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Last edited by driqbal; 03-05-2008 at 06:59 PM.
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Old 03-05-2008, 06:57 PM
driqbal's Avatar
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Default This Is What Love Is All About!

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30
a.m., when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived
to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated
that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at
9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a
seat, knowing it would be over an hour before
someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking
at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with
another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to
one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to
remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to
engage in conversation. I asked him if he had
another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was
in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he
needed to go to the ! nursing home to eat breakfast
with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me
that she had been there for a while and that she was
a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I
asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He
replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she
had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still
go every morning, even though she doesn't know who
you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She
doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had
goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the
kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been,
will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in
e-mails, sometimes there are some that come along
that have an important message! , and this is one of
those kind. Just had to share it with you all.

Oh, by the way, peace is seeing a sunset and
knowing who to thank.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the
best of everything; they just make the best of
everything they have.
(Amen to that!)

Please share this with someone you care about-

I JUST DID



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Last edited by driqbal; 03-05-2008 at 07:00 PM.
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