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Thread: 50 small jokes

  1. #1
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    Default 50 small jokes

    1. A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
    Every 10 sec a
    woman gives birth to a kid.
    A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

    2. Sardar-why r all these people running?
    Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
    Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
    others running?


    3. Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
    into future tense.
    Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".



    4. Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was
    not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary
    Expected".
    After much thought he wrote: Yes!


    5. Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant
    it's already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an
    umbrella and go.


    6. Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer
    gave 11cr after
    deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else
    return my 20 Rs
    back.


    7. Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
    Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have
    posted it....


    8. Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died
    peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the
    passengers in the
    car he was driving..


    9. Sardar at an Art Gallery : I suppose this horrible
    looking thing is
    what you call modern art ?
    Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!


    10. Sardar was writing something very slowly.
    Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
    Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.


    11. Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local
    sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still
    digging for more..



    12. A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not
    in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".


    13. Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
    Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

    Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
    Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?


    14. Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
    and lighten your burden.
    Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
    troubles.
    Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.



    15. Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
    give up my seat to a lady.
    Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
    Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

    16. A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if
    my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly,
    "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

    17. Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

    Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

    18. A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

    My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said
    another.

    Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

    19. Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
    Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
    Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
    Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
    Millionaire: "A Billionaire"


    20. Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
    It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".
    21. What is a girl friend?
    Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

    22. Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
    waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
    supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
    Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
    Falls?"

    23. Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.

    If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

    The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

    The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

    Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

    The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

    "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

    To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"


    24. As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
    Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
    "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

    "It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"


    25. Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

    For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.



    26. What's the definition of lawyer?
    The larval form of a politician

    27 Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
    He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

    28 How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
    He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

    29 once a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
    30 Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
    (What Happened, My Son?)

    31 The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)

    32 Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.

    'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

    33 2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari
    nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha
    hai ki Reliance mai Job.

    34 Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
    A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
    ensures U
    Continue to do so.

    35 Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne
    Flag
    Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.


    36 How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
    comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo
    ta ra ra.

    37 A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess
    what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

    38 Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
    Husband : Nothing.
    Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
    hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

    39 Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character
    thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya
    hoga....???

    40 Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? biwi: Oji Car ki
    break
    fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

    50 Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
    Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher
    Studies


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  3. #2
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    Man, this is crazy man...lol. This is sick...Sorry must spread some rep first

    IF YOU LIKE MY POSTS DONT FORGET TO REP+ ME REP IS THIS LIL THING AT THE TOP RIGHT ->
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    hahahahahahaha :D i like

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    nice jokes keep reading Free jokes sms in hindi
    freejokesms.com
    Masood Ahmad Rajput
    Submit your sms me on 03138820276 & 03336136612 and i publish on my sms blog with your name thx

  6. #5
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    Nice & funny jokes

  7. #6
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    Thank-you for the laughs!

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